Imperfect Pearls

 There is something captivating about a person that is comfortable in their own skin. At least I have always thought so. When someone has nothing to hide, no façade they seem to glow with a confidence that radiates beauty.

In art school in my 20′s I was at a party where a single woman arrived alone. Without knowing a soul she mingled her way comfortably through the entire evening.
When I spoke with her she was cool and confident, smart, open and independent. An inspiration!

She was also a rarity.

More often than not I’ve interacted with women who saw each other as competitors. Judging overall prettiness, hair color, breast & body size – it’s something I’ve never understood. Except for when I was feeling insecure.

Then plastic surgery started making its debut on the everyday scene & the problem snowballed.

In 2000, I worked for a woman who was successful and attractive. Her body was surgically enhanced, which she spoke of often, and was forever trying to “improve” her looks with more procedures. She encouraged her friends to join her.

It wasn’t long before I realized that it was her insecurities that were fueling this pursuit & the more she nipped & tucked, the more insecure she became. The longer I worked for her I saw that she was smart, savvy, kind & gracious under fire. But instead of knowing it and thriving, she was filled with self-doubt and hiding a 20 year eating disorder.

As an experiment I started making bumper stickers to put up on her way to work (ex: Your Worth is Not Measured by Your Measurements). I put them on stop signs, lamp posts, benches, etc. I wanted to see if, and how, the positive messages would affect her.
She spoke openly of everything, both personal & not, but she never mentioned seeing these stickers. Yet for me, an idea was born.

Many people were starting to have cosmetic procedures but my boss had been a surgical fanatic for many years. She was a powerful example of the danger in trying to fix your inside through your outside. Not only didn’t it work, it made things worse.
Dermatologist Patricia Wexler equates plastic surgery to “Washing spots off a wall. As soon as you do one, everything else looks dirty.” Eek.

My intention is to explore all means to encourage self-acceptance. In my experience it is the path to authenticity and true joy.

So, how do we love ourselves? These 5 mantras will get you started:

Step 1:
Be Kind & Speak Your Mind. Genuinely. Start speaking your truth, however quietly it comes out. No matter the subject matter! This practice helps you trust yourself.

Step 2:
Remember, Your Worth is Not Measured by Your Measurements. Period.

Step 3:
Accept Without Exception. Yourself and others. It really will change your world.
Try smiling at your trouble spots, for they’re not nearly as troubling as you think.

Step 4:
Don’t Knock it, Rock it! We all have areas of dissatisfaction with our bodies. Why waste time worrying about it? Highlight your attributes & laugh about your flaws!

Step 5:
Fear.less. When you find yourself hesitant to do or try something say these 2 simple words – “fear less”. With that small inspiration you quickly build your confidence and before you know it? You’re fearless.

Monica Ensign
Imperfect Pearls ‘A Motivational Business Encouraging Women to be Real’
www.ImperfectPearls.com

…At Any Party.
By Susan Fales-Hill

Have fun!

I don’t know where people got this idea that walking into a party is like walking onto a battlefield. My mother, Josephine Premice, was a Broadway actress of Haitian descent. She used to say “Make everyone feel special. Look them straight in the eye and give them warmth and attention.”

My parents were always the life of the party. You can be, too. Start by telling yourself what they always told me: “You’re the most interesting person in the room. At least we think so!”

Opening yourself up to others makes for a richer life, even if you’re snubbed sometimes.

That’s OK. If this economy has taught us nothing else, it should be that we’re all human, and no one is better than anybody else. So stop thinking of people you don’t know as strangers, and you’ll find that walking into a party alone can be great. You’re going to see more. You’re going to hear more. You’re going to observe more.

But don’t beat yourself up if sparks don’t fly with everyone. You are not responsible for reviving a conversation that has died. Just say, “Gosh, it was so nice talking to you,” and gracefully move to more fertile ground. There are billions of people in the world. Next!

Susan Fales-Hill is the author of the novel One Flight Up.

(Material is from the article The Seven Different Kinds of Confidence Every Woman Needs, Glamour Magazine)