Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category

Look Like a Million


2013
03.16

Spend a lot less.

6 timeless looks that are cost effective to cultivate.

1. Get a haircut that’s always in style.
A simple, nearly blunt cut that falls somewhere around the shoulders. It flatters most faces & grows out nicely. It’s also low maintenance, requiring infrequent hair cuts and works with curly or straight hair allowing you to work with your natural texture. Saves both time & money!

2. Opt for shorter nails & non-trendy polish.
“A rounded short nail is always on trend,” says celebrity manicurist Jin Soon Choi. Pair this shape with a shade that has no expiration date. Pale pink and red are the standards but taupe and navy have joined the ranks as timeless classics.

3. Cultivate a healthy glow.
“Exfoliating regularly keeps skin glowing,” says Dennis Gross, MD, a Manhatten dermatologist. It not only looks healthy but has the added benefit of minimizing the appearance of sun damage, fine lines, blemishes, etc., saving you money & time at a spa or doctor’s office. Dr. Gross believes you can do the job at home with peels & scrubs.
My personal fave? 2 T baking soda & warm water to make a paste. Gently rub onto skin, let sit for 5 min. Rinse off. 1 x/week.

4. Play up your lashes.
Another timeless trick is to keep the focus on your peepers. This can be accomplished many different ways but the easiest option is multiple layers of thickening black mascara (add black liner for evening events). For the quickest, most dramatic style: Too Faced‘s new Better Than False Lashes ($35 at Sephora) which uses 2 coats mascara plus a layer of thickening fibers.

5. Go for gleaming locks.
Megashiny strands have always been in style. They make a simple cut seem more chic, show off your color to best effect & boost your confidence. Good hair starts with good nutrition but there are many tricks out there as well. From keratin treatments (at home or in the salon) to drugstore shine enhancers. For extreme dullness - or fuzz – consider Redken‘s new-to-salons Shape Control System. Pricey but the results last up to 4 months.

6. Choose a complex scent.
The more complicated the ‘recipe’ the longer the shelf life. “A fragrance you can wear today and 5 years down the road should be as multilayered & complicated as you are,” says Laura Slatkin, CEO of Nest Fragrances. One of her favorites: Shalimar by Guerlain, which combines opulent floral notes with Oriental-vanilla notes. Other suggestions: Versace Yellow Diamond; L’Eau de Chloe; and Givenchy Dahlia Noir.

Article from More Magazine, April 2012.

New Rules 4 Aging Gracefully


2013
03.08

1. You can ease up on the hair color
Just because you’re sprouting an increasing number of silver strands doesn’t mean you need an allover dye job. In fact, if your hair is 50% gray or less, it’s better to get highlights. They add dimension to your color, which can brighten your complexion and they look more natural. Plus, you can stretch time in between touch-ups, 12 weeks vs. 8.

2. Ponytails can be sophisticated
Wearing your hair off your face gives light a chance to reflect off your skin, which can be very flattering. How you style is key! Aim for soft & polished rather than schoolmarm severe. Volumize hair first then gather into low pony at the nape of your neck.

3. Your lips are better off red
Lips can get thinner with age but a bold color can distract. Pick the right shade & people notice a beautiful color, not a pair of puny lips.

4. Long hair isn’t hippie – it’s hip
The trick is to have graduated layers that frame your face & neck, not just a mass of grown-out hair.  If you feel good about the shine & texture of your hair, flaunt it with a long, tailored style, a la Jennifer Aniston.
Just keep it above the clasp of your bra, especially if your face is thinning; longer hair may drag your features down.

5. A (very) little shimmer goes a long way
Shimmery shadow catches light & can make your eyes appear brighter. However, it can also cling to & emphasize crepey lids, so pick a formula that looks iridescent in the package & doesn’t have visible glittery particles.

6. Bangs can work magic
They not only cover your forehead lines but also give you a playful (read: young) vibe. Plus, “they bring angles to your face, which makes it appear more defined if your skin is starting to slacken.”

7. Smoky eyes rock
Afraid of revisiting the Joan Jett years? Don’t be. Lining the inner rims of your lower lids (referred to as the “water line”) & the upper lids can create a sultry, suprisingly modern affect. OR: Try purple on green eyes, gold for blue eyes, & turquoise for brown & darker eyes.

8. Foundation is your friend
If you’ve been sticking to tinted moisturizer because you’re leery of heavy foundation, it’s time to reassess. “The latest foundations are light-weight and can mimic the skin’s natural texture, but they still cover redness, lines, broken capillaries & other imperfections the way tinted moisturizer can’t. Plus, they last longer.” says Carmindy.

Excerpted from Real Simple magazine’s article The Modern Guide to Ageless Beauty by Stacey Colino.
Advice given by Sonia Kashuk, Morgan Schick, Thierry Brunet, Ted Gibson & Carmindy.

 

Jada, Rockin’ It Real!


2013
03.03
As I was kickin’ around Facebook the other day I found this entry from Jada Pinkett Smith.

“Don’t be afraid to be grown… How many of us are afraid to grow up because we fear that we will no longer be attractive…desirable?
Last night I got to have some girl time with one of my favorite women. She is a gorgeous woman who has been a light in this industry for two decades.
We are both now in our forties, but I found myself more mesmerized by this woman’s beauty now than when we were in our twenties. During our conversation, I realized that her beauty had DEEPENED from all the wisdom she has collected from her years of experiences. It’s a beauty that has been earned. A beauty that a twenty year old can’t possess until she has paid the price of…evolution, of transformation, of having rose from the ashes of a thousand rebirths. … I thought to myself…this is the new phase of beauty that maturity brings. It’s a beauty that has learned to build and rebuild hearts. A beauty that can sustain all that is substantial. It’s a beauty that we, culturally, rarely exalt, rarely recognize or give praise to. Culturally, we hound exterior youth but…  it’s our deepening, our self-actualizing, that creates the beauty…that lasts…for eternity.
Don’t be afraid to be GROWN. It’s beautiful;)”
Thank you, Jada. We love you!

Picture This! Tips 2 Your Best Photos


2013
03.01

 Jeanne Yang of Holmes & Yang clothing line says this, “Photos pretty much live forever now because of the digital age. So every photo you take, try to be as positive – and take as nice a photo – as you possibly can.”

Below are some of her top ‘look your best’ tips. I have separated them into candid vs. planned photos.

On the spot:
1. Smile with your eyes!
Right before the camera goes off, “Put something in your mind that makes you genuinely happy”.
2. Shift your weight to the backs of your heels.
This helps to achieve a more relaxed look.
3. Subtly tilt your head down.
“Which gives you a very nice line.”
4. Hold your arms slightly away from your body (see photo).
If you squeeze them to your body it will make your upper arms appear a lot bigger.
5. Angle slightly sideways
…with one foot placed in front of the other.


Advanced warning:
1. Fitted, well-tailored clothing.

“You’ll look thinner, slimmer & you’ll feel more comfortable.”
2. Wear a striking color.
It ‘pops’ in photos & gives you a glow.
3. Patterned fabric can hide a multitude of flaws.
Choose a smaller, tighter pattern. Bigger ones can make you look wider.
4. Dresses with a little stretch or ruching.
It puts things in the right places, gives you curves where you need them.
3. Go monochromatic.
Creates a long, slim figure.
4. Wear something with a higher waistline.
Thus creating longer legs.
5. Wear heels.
It turns your hips out & tilts your body a certain way that gives you something extra.
6. Keep your hair on the sleeker side.
Messy hairdos can look unkempt.
7. Keep accessories to a minimum.
Choose one item – simple hoop earrings or a striking cuff as an accent.
8. And again, smile with your eyes!

 

About Face


2013
02.20

Here’s a topic that’s been stirred up a bit lately. Faces. What we look like. And the bodies that come with it.

I’d like to discuss it.

This subject gets a bit tricky but let me start at the beginning. My beginning.
When I started this business 12 years ago I would walk around San Diego on busy nights and put up my bumper stickers where they’d be seen.

Then I’d walk back through the streets & listen to the comments of the partiers.

What I almost always heard was, “I’ll bet some fat, ugly bitch put that sticker up.”

So here we are.

People do expect someone who takes on the “feminist” topics of beauty, self-acceptance & perfection standards to be a large, dowdy, homely woman. One who’s embittered for being visually unappealing and therefore nudged to the outskirts of society. With her cats.

Well, I’m not. (Despite the lonely visual of my former sticker nights!)

I don’t have a weight problem nor do I find myself homely. But I do have my share of insecurities. Just like everyone, EVERYONE else.

Every woman I have ever known whether she is short, tall, heavy, thin, dark, medium, light-skinned, buxom or flat-chested has her share of insecurities. Physical insecurities.

Almost every one are silly. Silly, I say! “My lips are too thin.” “I wish I were a D cup instead of a C”. “My hair is too flat/frizzy/dark/mousy.” “Look at these laugh/frown lines!”
We kvetch about cellulite, jiggly arms, thick thighs, big hips, wide butts, spider veins, gray hair, wrinkles and saggy skin. We buy Spanx to hold us in & Wonder Bras to push us out. If we have straight hair we curl it, curly hair we straighten it. If we are thin we aren’t curvy enough and the curvy girls feel fat.  See what I mean?

Very recently model Cameron Russell even said, “Models are the most physically insecure women on the planet.”

So who’s actually enjoying their body? Celebrating it?

Well we are, that’s who! Those of us here at Imperfect Pearls have made a commitment to embrace & laugh about our imperfections, not put our power in someone else’s hands to “fix” them. And it is our bold intention to blaze a trail that YOU can follow.

The trail starts here:  [now look into a mirror and say...]

Real women are strong women, independent & wise,
We are beauty regardless of the size of our thighs. 
We are what we choose & some choose to peruse
From waitress, to artist, to corporate tycoon -
We don’t need to be Barbie, that chick’s a cartoon!
We’re not to be tied up in some pretty package,
Nipped, tucked & implanted if in boobage we lackage.
Imperfect Pearls deals in real-ness, in slogan-sized doses,
Questions the logic & fears the prognosis
Of a society steeped in a form of neurosis,
Where perfection’s required from our heads to our toes-es!

On a further note, the fact that beautiful, famous women (Paulina Porizkova, Kate Winslet, Crystal Renn, Emma Thompson, Rachel Weisz…) are becoming vocal on the subjects of perfection &/or plastic surgery means that this pressure affects them, too. Maybe more so! But more on that later.

In the meantime can we learn to be a little nicer to each other regardless of what we look like? Perhaps start listening to the content of ones message without ‘deface’-ing the messenger.
That seems like the best place to start.

Go Boldly!


2013
02.05

It was 1945:
‘Wonder Woman is psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should, I believe, rule the world.’ wrote her creator, psychologist William Moulton Marston.

She’s a role model, ladies and gentleman. Nevermind that she’s a cartoon character.

Born in a time when life was bleak, the country was barely out of the Great Depression and into World War II. She was created to give people a sense of peace, justice and joy! Visual ‘evidence’ that there was good reigning over evil somewhere.

Don’t we all need a bit of that? A breath of freshness and a swinging lasso of truth!

That’s what we here at Imperfect Pearls hope to offer the world. Along with strong, valiant role models,  uplifting humor and our own brand of justice.

We invite you to join us & walk boldly. Read our blog, follow us on Facebook & Twitter, support our products!

And remember: ‘The world is your oyster, you are the pearl.’

 

 

EmPowered, Poolside


2013
02.04

Top 5 Ways to Build Confidence


2013
01.29

To Forgive, Divine?


2012
11.12

I read an incredible article recently that has lifted an 8 year burden of ‘friendship’ betrayal & backstabbing for me. I’m shakin’ my booty over here!

Now it’s a little tricky to explain because at first glance, it looks bad. When Forgiveness Isn’t a Virtue is the name of the article by Elizabeth Bernstein.
Quite normally you will hear me speaking in favor of forgiveness. Mostly because it is for the benefit of the one who has been wronged, not the one who did the wrong-doing.
To hold on to anger at anyone makes us feel awful & casts a shadow over our own heads. Not. Worth. It.

Generally.

“But research shows that forgiveness has a dark side. At first it may help the person who has been hurt to let go of anger, resentment & a desire for revenge. But forgiving also may encourage the transgressor to do it again. Experts say reaching true forgiveness is a journey that may take years. And it is best not to forgive too soon.

In a Florida State University study psychology professor Jim McNulty examined the costs vs. benefits of forgiveness. He found that the day after forgiving a partner, people were 6.5x more likely to report that the partner had again done something negative, compared with when there was no forgiveness.
“The potential cost of forgiveness is that it doesn’t hold the partner accountable for the behavior,” Dr. McNulty says.

In other studies, he looked at the “doormat effect,” asking each partner to rate how forgiving they were – and how nice – based on statements like “I care about other people” and “I have a soft heart.” One study found people who had nice partners and who were forgiving of them felt better over time. People who were forgiving of not-so-nice partners, though, felt worse.
Another study concluded that people who forgave nice partners remained happy with their marriages, while people who forgave not-so-nice partners felt worse. Most striking: People who refused to forgive not-so-nice partners remained happy.”

According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, psych professor at UC Riverside & author of ‘The How of Happiness’ it is appropriate to forgive a person if 3 conditions are present:

1. You know you want to keep in contact & continue having a relationship with the person
2. The person is not likely to repeat the specific transgression
3. The person rarely does behaviors like this.

These studies were done with couples but the results can be applied to any other relationship situation (like mine) that has gone wrong.

If you do decide to forgive, what is the best way to do it?
(
According to the article…)

1. Figure out why you’re really hurt.
2. Remember you’ve likely hurt people, too. Recall what it’s like to be forgiven.
3. Determine whether or not intent was really there.
4. Visualize the process: What will you say? How will you say it?
5. Try to be empathetic: Can you see why they did whatever they did?
6.  Tell the person why you are hurt. Pay attention to whether or not they understand & regret their action.

Ordinarily I agree with Alexander Pope, “To err is human, to forgive divine.”
But there is a small percentage of the time where forgiveness will only bring you more of the same – body blows to your self esteem that leave you feeling disempowered and vulnerable.

If that sounds familiar to you, change the wording on your doormat from ‘Welcome’ to ‘Go Away’.


(Information excerpted from The Wall Street Journal article “When Forgiveness Isn’t a Virtue”)

 

 

 

Goodies for Us Oldies…


2012
09.04
Apparently, we don’t ALL turn into Statler and Waldorf as we age. Studies show most older people have fewer negative feelings, like anger, than the young.
Researchers are trying to understand how emotions change with age, which could provide clues to helping people live longer, healthier lives:
  • Stress peaks in the early 20′s for most people, and is sharply higher in women than in men, but then steadily declines through old age.
  • Feeling of enjoyment and happiness are highest among young adults, gradually decline in midlife, then rise again in later years.
  • People tend to worry the most in midlife, from about age 40 to the early 50′s, after which feelings of worry decrease.
  • Anger is at its peak in early adulthood but then begins a long, gradual decline.
  • Sadness stays relatively constant throughout life, although women experience more sad feelings than men.

Source: Arthur Stone, Stony Brook University