Archive for the ‘Role Models’ Category

Well, Then Who?


2013
05.01

I’ve been pondering this question for quite some time.

As I mentioned in my blog post ‘About Face’ the assumption regarding my shirts & stickers was that whoever was behind their creation must be “fat and ugly.”
That was 12 years ago but judging from the comments I still hear, much hasn’t changed in that regard.

Only now beautiful A list celebrities like Kate Winslet are starting to take a stand against plastic surgery and social media sites light up with “Of course she’d say that. She’s gorgeous & perfect.”

Ugh.

Which begs the question, well then WHO in your estimation has the ‘right’ to stand up?

The answer is, of course, anyone who wants to.

All of us. Some of us or maybe just me!  The point is it starts here & now.
But you’d better hold on - here comes our exit…

 

 

 

 

 

You Should Say to Each Child:


2013
04.17

You are unique.
In all the world there is no other child exactly like you.

In the millions of years that have passed there has never been a child like you…
You have the capacity for anything.
Yes, you are a marvel.

Pablo Casals, Spanish Cellist

Look Like a Million


2013
03.16

Spend a lot less.

6 timeless looks that are cost effective to cultivate.

1. Get a haircut that’s always in style.
A simple, nearly blunt cut that falls somewhere around the shoulders. It flatters most faces & grows out nicely. It’s also low maintenance, requiring infrequent hair cuts and works with curly or straight hair allowing you to work with your natural texture. Saves both time & money!

2. Opt for shorter nails & non-trendy polish.
“A rounded short nail is always on trend,” says celebrity manicurist Jin Soon Choi. Pair this shape with a shade that has no expiration date. Pale pink and red are the standards but taupe and navy have joined the ranks as timeless classics.

3. Cultivate a healthy glow.
“Exfoliating regularly keeps skin glowing,” says Dennis Gross, MD, a Manhatten dermatologist. It not only looks healthy but has the added benefit of minimizing the appearance of sun damage, fine lines, blemishes, etc., saving you money & time at a spa or doctor’s office. Dr. Gross believes you can do the job at home with peels & scrubs.
My personal fave? 2 T baking soda & warm water to make a paste. Gently rub onto skin, let sit for 5 min. Rinse off. 1 x/week.

4. Play up your lashes.
Another timeless trick is to keep the focus on your peepers. This can be accomplished many different ways but the easiest option is multiple layers of thickening black mascara (add black liner for evening events). For the quickest, most dramatic style: Too Faced‘s new Better Than False Lashes ($35 at Sephora) which uses 2 coats mascara plus a layer of thickening fibers.

5. Go for gleaming locks.
Megashiny strands have always been in style. They make a simple cut seem more chic, show off your color to best effect & boost your confidence. Good hair starts with good nutrition but there are many tricks out there as well. From keratin treatments (at home or in the salon) to drugstore shine enhancers. For extreme dullness - or fuzz – consider Redken‘s new-to-salons Shape Control System. Pricey but the results last up to 4 months.

6. Choose a complex scent.
The more complicated the ‘recipe’ the longer the shelf life. “A fragrance you can wear today and 5 years down the road should be as multilayered & complicated as you are,” says Laura Slatkin, CEO of Nest Fragrances. One of her favorites: Shalimar by Guerlain, which combines opulent floral notes with Oriental-vanilla notes. Other suggestions: Versace Yellow Diamond; L’Eau de Chloe; and Givenchy Dahlia Noir.

Article from More Magazine, April 2012.

Jada, Rockin’ It Real!


2013
03.03
As I was kickin’ around Facebook the other day I found this entry from Jada Pinkett Smith.

“Don’t be afraid to be grown… How many of us are afraid to grow up because we fear that we will no longer be attractive…desirable?
Last night I got to have some girl time with one of my favorite women. She is a gorgeous woman who has been a light in this industry for two decades.
We are both now in our forties, but I found myself more mesmerized by this woman’s beauty now than when we were in our twenties. During our conversation, I realized that her beauty had DEEPENED from all the wisdom she has collected from her years of experiences. It’s a beauty that has been earned. A beauty that a twenty year old can’t possess until she has paid the price of…evolution, of transformation, of having rose from the ashes of a thousand rebirths. … I thought to myself…this is the new phase of beauty that maturity brings. It’s a beauty that has learned to build and rebuild hearts. A beauty that can sustain all that is substantial. It’s a beauty that we, culturally, rarely exalt, rarely recognize or give praise to. Culturally, we hound exterior youth but…  it’s our deepening, our self-actualizing, that creates the beauty…that lasts…for eternity.
Don’t be afraid to be GROWN. It’s beautiful;)”
Thank you, Jada. We love you!

About Face


2013
02.20

Here’s a topic that’s been stirred up a bit lately. Faces. What we look like. And the bodies that come with it.

I’d like to discuss it.

This subject gets a bit tricky but let me start at the beginning. My beginning.
When I started this business 12 years ago I would walk around San Diego on busy nights and put up my bumper stickers where they’d be seen.

Then I’d walk back through the streets & listen to the comments of the partiers.

What I almost always heard was, “I’ll bet some fat, ugly bitch put that sticker up.”

So here we are.

People do expect someone who takes on the “feminist” topics of beauty, self-acceptance & perfection standards to be a large, dowdy, homely woman. One who’s embittered for being visually unappealing and therefore nudged to the outskirts of society. With her cats.

Well, I’m not. (Despite the lonely visual of my former sticker nights!)

I don’t have a weight problem nor do I find myself homely. But I do have my share of insecurities. Just like everyone, EVERYONE else.

Every woman I have ever known whether she is short, tall, heavy, thin, dark, medium, light-skinned, buxom or flat-chested has her share of insecurities. Physical insecurities.

Almost every one are silly. Silly, I say! “My lips are too thin.” “I wish I were a D cup instead of a C”. “My hair is too flat/frizzy/dark/mousy.” “Look at these laugh/frown lines!”
We kvetch about cellulite, jiggly arms, thick thighs, big hips, wide butts, spider veins, gray hair, wrinkles and saggy skin. We buy Spanx to hold us in & Wonder Bras to push us out. If we have straight hair we curl it, curly hair we straighten it. If we are thin we aren’t curvy enough and the curvy girls feel fat.  See what I mean?

Very recently model Cameron Russell even said, “Models are the most physically insecure women on the planet.”

So who’s actually enjoying their body? Celebrating it?

Well we are, that’s who! Those of us here at Imperfect Pearls have made a commitment to embrace & laugh about our imperfections, not put our power in someone else’s hands to “fix” them. And it is our bold intention to blaze a trail that YOU can follow.

The trail starts here:  [now look into a mirror and say...]

Real women are strong women, independent & wise,
We are beauty regardless of the size of our thighs. 
We are what we choose & some choose to peruse
From waitress, to artist, to corporate tycoon -
We don’t need to be Barbie, that chick’s a cartoon!
We’re not to be tied up in some pretty package,
Nipped, tucked & implanted if in boobage we lackage.
Imperfect Pearls deals in real-ness, in slogan-sized doses,
Questions the logic & fears the prognosis
Of a society steeped in a form of neurosis,
Where perfection’s required from our heads to our toes-es!

On a further note, the fact that beautiful, famous women (Paulina Porizkova, Kate Winslet, Crystal Renn, Emma Thompson, Rachel Weisz…) are becoming vocal on the subjects of perfection &/or plastic surgery means that this pressure affects them, too. Maybe more so! But more on that later.

In the meantime can we learn to be a little nicer to each other regardless of what we look like? Perhaps start listening to the content of ones message without ‘deface’-ing the messenger.
That seems like the best place to start.

Go Boldly!


2013
02.05

It was 1945:
‘Wonder Woman is psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should, I believe, rule the world.’ wrote her creator, psychologist William Moulton Marston.

She’s a role model, ladies and gentleman. Nevermind that she’s a cartoon character.

Born in a time when life was bleak, the country was barely out of the Great Depression and into World War II. She was created to give people a sense of peace, justice and joy! Visual ‘evidence’ that there was good reigning over evil somewhere.

Don’t we all need a bit of that? A breath of freshness and a swinging lasso of truth!

That’s what we here at Imperfect Pearls hope to offer the world. Along with strong, valiant role models,  uplifting humor and our own brand of justice.

We invite you to join us & walk boldly. Read our blog, follow us on Facebook & Twitter, support our products!

And remember: ‘The world is your oyster, you are the pearl.’

 

 

“Sexy” Talk


2013
01.24

Article by Shelley Preston, Parenting Magazine:

(Pre-School)
It’s almost impossible to shield kids from scantily clad models and songs about “skintight jeans”. In fact, you may already be seeing the effects when your 4-year-old begs for a Bratz doll. Psychologists say girls embrace steamy imagery as an avenue to acceptance. It’s never too early to teach your preschool daughter to respect herself. Here’s how:

1. Check Yourself: Listen to the ways you express ideas about how women should or shouldn’t look (you know, those snarky comments about hair, wrinkles, and whether they’re real). Moms who objectify themselves & others may have daughters who follow suit.

2. Introduce her to sports early: In a study, girls involved in sports and dance that emphasized technique (like gymnastics & ballet) were less likely to choose a more revealing doll. Why? Eileen Zurbriggen, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz, thinks cultivating physical ability may counteract negative pop-culture images. “There’s the feeling of “This is my body – it can move & do things and it feels great.”

3. Talk Back to Your TV: “Parents think that if they point out things, they are going to sexualize their children and make them aware too early,” says Penelope Ingram, Ph.D., who specializes in gender issues and motherhood at the University of Texas, Arlington. “It’s OK to say ‘That’s inappropriate, and here’s why.’”

 

Rock the Vote!


2012
10.05

It’s more important than you think. Young women make up the majority of swing voters and will be key to the next election. Wednesday October 10th is the last day to register. Do it!

43% of Women Have No Clue Who They’ll Vote For

If you find yourself feeling this way think of some of the most important issues that affect you and those you love, brush up on how both candidates feel on those topics and shape your opinion. If you can’t decide where to start check out the results from a Glamour Magazine poll ‘Glamocracy’ (seriously!) to see where other young women stand on some basic issues.

Use this as a platform to jump off in forming your own opinion!

In this survey women were asked to rank the issues most important to them:
#1: Providing affordable health care for Americans
#2: Creating jobs for young people
#3: Making college affordable
#4: Tax rates
#5: Protecting the environment

Here are the deal breakers:
70%
say cheating on taxes
41% say plagiarizing a speech
36% say cheating on his wife
23% say hiring an illegal immigrant
16% say having done illegal drugs

How important is the candidate’s wife in picking a president?
60%
say somewhat or very important
40% say not at all important

How many ex-wives is too many?
48%
say there is no number that signifies “too many”
25%
say two ex-wives is excessive
13%
say even one ex-wife is too many

Global warming? God? Evolution? What do you think a president should believe in?
50%
say climate change
44%
say God
38%
say evolution

 

Can’t Travel? Do it by armchair…


2012
09.24

Read! It will change your perspective and your world.

All too often it is easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and cemented in our own perspective. Travel changes that! As it may not suit everyone, picking up a book is the second best option.
If you use your local library – it’s free! So stimulate your brain and escape into someone else’s world for awhile. You’ll be surprised how much it will change your own.

Check out the inspiration and real-life lessons learned by these amazing authors from books they read YEARS ago:

From Real Simple Magazine, September 2012:

Embrace Individuality
I read The World According to Garp, by John Irving, the year I graduated from college, and I identified with Garp in so many ways: He wanted to be a writer, and he was trying to be an adult, but he messed everything up. However, the most memorable message from the novel was illustrated by outcasts, like the transsexual ex-football player and the woman without a tongue, who finally found a community to call home. These characters showed me that people can be accepting of each other’s eccentricities, which is a big lesson to take from a book that is, in many ways, a romp. You have to give people room to be who they are and to let their true colors show.
Sara Nelson, author of So Many Books, So Little Time: A Year of Passionate Reading 

Just Move Forward
Growing up, I lived this very small-town existence, so I adored the surreal fantasy series Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, with its walking oysters & tea-drinking hares. I remember the scene where Alice asks the Cheshire cat about which way to go. “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” he says. “I don’t much care where – so long as I get somewhere,” Alice replies. And he tells her,”Oh, you’re sure to do that if you only walk long enough.” For a directionless kid who didn’t know what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go, those words were comforting. You’ve got to end up somewhere, so just go.
Mary Roach, author of Stiff, Bonk, Spook and Packing for Mars.

Fight Injustice
In eighth grade, I read The Hunchback of Notre Dame. At the time most of it sailed right over my head. But that last 25% was potent enough to knock me over. I had never read a book so deeply engaged with social injustice, & the abuses it depicted – by religious figures, civic authorities, & the mob – shocked me to the core. I wondered, How could such things be allowed to go on? It made me want to be a warrior against corrupt power & to give voice to the stories of outcasts & outsiders. It also made me appreciate how deep the human desire for connection is; Quasimodo’s yearning to love & be loved speaks for us all. The end left me weeping, but even more important, it left me thinking, and forever changed.
Madeline Miller author of The Song of Achilles.

Be Courageous
I grew up dirt-poor in the Dominican Republic, & when my family moved to the US (I was 6), my new home felt very hostile & cold. As a kid who wanted protection, I read Watership Down, by Richard Adams. It’s about a group of rabbits who are forced from their home & encounter another warren of well-fed rabbits. The displaced animals realize that their fat kinsmen are safe because a farmer has turned their burrow into an outdoor refrigerator. At just 8 years old, I realized that security is sometimes too high a price to pay for your freedom. Kindling bravery is a daily challenge: not hiding away in safety, not settling for whatever is just good enough.
Junot Diaz author of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and This Is How You Lose Her.

Don’t Judge
I’ve read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice so many times through the years. The narrator is sharp & observant. No one crosses her field of vision without being assessed & sometimes skewered.Yet the story shows the danger of snap judgements. After their first meeting, Elizabeth and Darcy seem such an unlikely match, but their eventual marriage is based on real romance. I think that I’m a kind person but on occasion I quickly write people off. Part of the reason I return to this book is that it reminds me to take a second look. In books & in life, you need to read several pages before someone’s true character is revealed.
Gail Carson Levine author of 20 children’s books including Ella Enchanted.

 

 

The Gifts of Aging


2012
08.29

“Maybe we don’t have the body we had when we were 20, but growing older isn’t without its perks”, says Sue Patton Thoele, a licensed psychotherapist in Boulder, CO (& author of Freedoms After 50).

Below is her top 10 list of aging’s more subtle gifts:

1. We can take care of ourselves – & we know it. “For me, one of the benefits of aging is a deep, hard-earned trust in my ability to regain my equilibrium when I’m knocked off-kilter.’

2. We can act “disgracefully.” “To me, that’s laughing uproariously in public, throwing your arms around a dear friend you haven’t seen in a long time, using some spicy words to make your point. We’re free to ignite the fiery part of ourselves.” [Wait a second, I've always done this! Had no idea I was so uncouth...]

3. We can just say no. Period. “Being able to say that wonderfully assertive word without guilt, explanation, or remorse is to break free from the prison of obligation. At our age, we’ve certainly earned the privelege.”

4. We have more time to let our creative juices flow. “Most of us have more leisure time as we get older, so we can develop our creativity more fully. And since we don’t have to prove ourselves, we’re more inclined to try anything.”

5. Sex becomes more spiritual. “There’s a depth of feeling between you and your mate that makes sex less about performance and more about tenderness and sharing.”

6. We don’t have to cook if we don’t want to. “There are many times now when I grant myself the freedom to assert my noncooking credo of  ’Forage, take out, or take me out.’

7. We can snooze when we choose. “Pets are admirable nappers, able to doze off whenever the mood strikes. We now have the time to follow their example.”

8. We can can the guilt. “There’s a saying, ‘Show me a woman without guilt, and I’ll show you a man.’ It’s time that we kiss guilt goodbye.”

9. We learn to accept things as they are. “One of the joys of maturity is realizing that it’s perfectly all right to give up trying to control everything and accept what is. What a blessed relief.”

10. Our “wisdom gland” kicks in. “With our wealth of experience, we gain perspective – a much deeper understanding of what’s really important in our lives.”