Posts Tagged ‘perfect’

Heal With Steel?


2012
02.27

NO! Rock it Real!

Many of you who know me know that I am not a fan of plastic surgery.
I do everything within my power to inspire people to tune into their Inside, not fix their Outside.
Friday night’s 20/20 was all about plastic surgery. Most of it made me want to cry.

Now, I’m no purist. I understand that we have cosmetic surgery for a reason. It offers a chance for a “normal” appearance and experience for folks who, for whatever reason, have not.
With a firm grip on one’s self-esteem and the right emotional outlook a procedure can give some people the boost they need to finally feel like their outside reflects their inside. I’ve seen it happen.

Mostly, though, I’ve seen the opposite.

Women who have nothing physically wrong with them undergo the knife again and again. The top procedure? Breast implants. Duh. We Americans can’t get past our breast obsession.
The thing I can’t understand is that these women (and girls!) end up looking cartoonish in their after shots and they’re THRILLED. They can’t see the imbalance in it. They can’t see the silly in the silicone. How does that happen?

Most disturbing, though, is the teenage factor. Teen plastic surgery has risen 380% in the last 10 years. What?! Or more importantly, Why?!
Not to mention the non-surgical procedures like Botox, laser treatments & a variety of fillers. (Are you hearing me, Readers? These are TEENAGERS!!)
Sorry for yelling, I’m upset.
The young ladies interviewed on the show started their procedures as teens and are now in their early 20′s. Ironically, I thought they looked older. Maybe because they look the same way many of the women from The Real Housewives franchise do. Pretty, yes, but rubbery & painted.

And now gluteal enhancement! Really? Weren’t women forever asking their partners “Does this make my butt look big?” Now suddenly because a few lovely celebrities have embraced their larger posteriors (and may I say, rocked it!) the new insecurity of choice is a small backside? Oh, no no no.

And now we’re taking men along for the ride. They have had a 100% increase in procedures since 1997 believing that the procedures “Help project confidence.”
The most disturbing new trend, Cosmetic Limb Lengthening. Where they actually break your legs and insert metal rods in them to make you grow taller. Medically, that’s fascinating. Personally? It’s nauseating.

Now, many people say if it’s making these people happy who cares? They should do whatever they want.  Agreed… partially.
Because here’s the rub – once you start “fixing” things that are imperfect about your physique, it’s very difficult to stop. Dermatologist Patricia Wexler equates it to “washing spots off of a wall. Once you wash the first one off, everything else looks dirty.”  Also, it becomes difficult to see when you are taking it too far.  You lose perspective on your own features.

But the most important reason why I care is because we all take cues from each other. Carl Jung defined it as: “the unconscious influence of one being on another” and we’re sending the message of inauthenticity. We are teaching our children by our own behavior that looks are more important than character. That beauty is to be revered, no matter the cost.
Our current actions tell them that they should place their value on their measurements and their line-free faces.

So, what do we do?

Imperfect Pearls is all about being positive and pro-active.  Our goal is to create a world (that’s right, an entire WORLD) where being real, authentic, genuine and true is as cool as it gets.  No matter who you are, what you do, where you come from, what you look like.

We’ll back up our philosophy with community service, public speaking and products.  We intend our point of view to be represented in life, in books and in the media – with humor, wellness and style!

ALL ABOARD!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Best (& Worst) Things You Can Say to a Girl


2012
01.13

This is sage advice. Who’d'a thought from Glamour magazine?
And remember, this message can apply to YOU, too!

What you say does make an impression. Make sure it’s a good one.

 Always say:
1. “Do anything fun today?”
Life isn’t all about achievements; this could help her find her passion.

2. “That was a brave thing to do.”
When girls stand up for someone or something they believe in, we should stand up and cheer. After all, that’s the mark of a leader.

3. “Let’s go for a run.”
Simply getting her going can boost her mood and self-image. Exercise also gives her confidence in her body’s strength.

4. “You can be anything; you don’t have to be everything.”
“You go, girl” is always a great message, but she also needs to know that when and if she wants to, she can slow down.

5. “Just know I’m here. No pressure. No judgement.”
It’s helpful if she knows she can turn to someone, even if she doesn’t end up doing so, says psychologist Rita Haley, Ph.D.

6. “YUM!!!!”
Teach her to enjoy her food, not battle it.

7. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
Historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s so-true words tell her that if she wants to break the rules sometimes, you have her back.

Never say:
1. “I feel fat.”
After a 2nd helping of stuffing, sure you do. But beware! If she sees you hating your body, she may learn to loathe hers, says Courtney E. Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.

2. “You’re young. You’ll get over it.”
Yes, she’ll survive being blown off by her so-called friend. But that doesn’t make it sting less right now. Ask how you can help.

3. “Men suck.”
Bashing just feeds an us-versus-them mentality, says Haley.

4. “Sure you want to eat that?”
Eating a honking slab of pie is much less damaging to her than the feeling that everything she puts in her mouth is fodder for scrutiny.

5. “Paris is such a slut.”
Whatever you think of Ms. Hilton, trashing women teaches girls to be mean, says psychologist Sharon Lamb. Bring up Nancy Pelosi instead. Research suggests that talking with girls about female politicians can help can help them aspire to leadership roles.

6. “Guys won’t like you if you…”
It’s never good to change to “get” a guy. Tell her the right one will like every crazy, quirky thing about her.

7. “These are the best years of your life.”
High school?! As if.

Less Than Perfect


2011
09.20

 

This song is so great it sends chills down my spine! Once again Pink nailed it.

If you are ever feeling bad about yourself – sing this song.
If someone breaks up with you – sing this song.
If you find yourself disappointing yourself or someone else – sing this song.

Sing this song when you lose it and:

  • yell at your dog/significant other/kids/parents/friends
  • flip someone off in traffic (are we still doing this?)
  • behave in a way that you swore you’d never when you were a kid

And remember, we all mess up. A lot. But be kind to yourself, be gentler with yourself & make a serious note to do better next time.

After all, we’re all ImPerfect.

Angelina, Jolie? Well of Course She is, Silly!


2011
05.12

Can you find the 4 changed features in these pictures?

Her work as a United Nations Goodwill Diplomat is amazing. Inspirational! It has been engaging to watch her develop as a human being – from young and reckless to wise, compassionate and dignified.  But in the course of this metamorphasis she began refining her looks as well. I understand wanting your outside to correspond with your inside, but at what price? And where does it end?

I personally loved Angelina’s formerly off-beat looks. She was always attractive and just a bit rugged, something you couldn’t quite categorize.  It was so refreshing! 

Most women that make it in Hollywood are beautiful to begin with.  Increasingly, it’s not enough.  Now they must be perfect.

I’m the first to say the results are breathtaking. But WOW. What a commitment.  And now to be considered the most beautiful (read: perfect) woman in the world? Endlessly flattering to be sure. But now, the pressure is on. Especially for someone who is so in the public eye.

Not to mention, what does that mean for the rest of us? When women are raising the bar of the definition of beautiful? Don’t we get enough of that from the media? 

The other side of the equation is that the women in Hollywood (young & old alike) are so intensely scrutinized & critiqued in their industry and by the public that plastic surgery becomes one of the requirements to stay competitive. Ouch. 

So where do we go from here? Straight to the heart of something more sincere - that doesn’t suggest dissatisfaction and insecurity. You learn to like yourself. Accept yourself.

Accept without exception. Then, Rock it Real!